It’s one thing to say they don’t get it.
It’s another to admit I haven’t given them a way they can.

It’s one thing to say they’re not open.
It’s another to see how I close them down.

It’s one thing to say I’m being myself.
It’s another to listen to the feedback I get.

It’s one thing to say I meant well.
It’s another to acknowledge the mistake I made.

It’s one thing to say others have work to do.
It’s another to be responsible for my own.

It’s one thing to say they need to change.
It’s another to recognise where I’m stuck.

It’s one thing to say I’m standing by my convictions.
It’s another to be attentive to how that violates.

It’s one thing to say they’re judging me wrongly.
It’s another to accept the consequence of my actions.

It’s one thing to think you’ve got the answer.
It’s another to know when the answer is how we find it.

It’s one thing to believe I know how to solve their problem.
It’s another to realise that’s the problem to be solved.

~Philip Oude-Vrielink

I’ve done and been stuck in each of these things and continue to learn the other. Several people recently asked me about these reflections. Here’s a recent example.

Mistakes. I recently gave a public presentation and shared that life shows us what to pay attention to. I went way over time — sorry if you were affected by that. Until this presentation I hadn’t realised the extent to which my experience of time and the passage of time were different. In my professional work I have structures that prevent this from happening. My very visible mistake is a gift showing I need to introduce some of those structures into my public life.

There’s an old saying, ‘Be yourself, the world will give you feedback.’ Another question is whether we’re attentive to what that feedback points to.


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